Episode 42: Magic Kingdom (Charming Vibes)

It’s day three at Walt Disney World.  Time for the main event!  A place where wishes filled with wonder lead to fantasy and adventure, and if you believe in magic, dreams become destiny, the frontier meets tomorrow, and today, I’ll take the liberty to explore it all!  It’s the world’s most visited theme park, a veritable icon, and it’s home to many of the most memorable and beloved attractions anywhere.  

The Magic Kingdom has been making memories for generations, myself included, and today I’m back, for the first time in over 30 years, set to re-experience one of the greatest theme parks on Earth, but through new eyes as an adult thrill seeker.  I’m looking forward to a day reliving memories, seeing what’s new, and seeking redemption on that massive white mountain.  So what do you say, are you ready to wish upon a star?

Join me for my reactions to cherished rides like Space Mountain, TRON Lightcycle/Run, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Tianna's Bayou Adventure and more!

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Transcript

It’s day three at Walt Disney World.  Time for the main event!  A place where wishes filled with wonder lead to fantasy and adventure, and if you believe in magic, dreams become destiny, the frontier meets tomorrow, and today, I’ll take the liberty to explore it all!  It’s the world’s most visited theme park, a veritable icon, and it’s home to many of the most memorable and beloved attractions anywhere.    

The Magic Kingdom has been making memories for generations, myself included.  That picturesque red steam train boarding right at the entrance was my childhood favorite, and I remember it as Mickey’s Birthdayland Express.  I loved Pirates of the Caribbean, Space Mountain scared me to death, and I wussed out and skipped Splash Mountain.  That drop was simply too big.  But Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, ahh, that was it!  A roller coaster and a steam train that was just right.  Super fun, while not too much.  It’s the ride that opened the door for me to become the coaster enthusiast I am today.

So now I’m back, for the first time in over 30 years, set to re-experience one of the greatest theme parks on Earth, but through new eyes as an adult thrillseeker.  I’m looking forward to a day reliving memories, seeing what’s new, and seeking redemption on that massive white mountain.  So what do you say, are you ready to wish upon a star?              

Welcome to Episode 42 of Coaster Redux.  My name is Erik, and this is the story of my revived roller coaster fandom. For years, I’d all but forgotten my coaster obsession from high school and college, but since the pandemic, I’ve been on a mission to ride as many new coasters as I can.  I know as a roller coaster fan that one of my favorite parts of the hobby is getting the reaction of somebody coming off a ride they’ve never ridden before, makes no difference who you are.  That’s what I want to share with you. 

And with that, join me in the place where anything your heart desires will come to you.  At least I sure hope so!  We’re going to the Magic Kingdom on Coaster Redux

I slept in a bit.  I hate mornings.  This is vacation, and I was happy I relieved myself from the burden of trying to secure virtual queues.  As I yawned and stretched, I knew that if nothing else, I had plenty of time in the Magic Kingdom.  The park was open until 10.  I knew I wouldn't last that long, but I rejoiced knowing I had the luxury of time without needing to rush.  Time to motivate.  I showered and dressed, ready for my biggest day of the trip.  

I repeated the same drive across I-4, but this time, I headed deeper into Disney.  The Magic Kingdom and its surrounding resorts are located at the back end of the property, and the drive was noticeably longer than the last two days.  I passed Hollywood Studios and EPCOT, and I got my first glimpse of the monorail flanking World Drive on the right.  Still, I kept driving.

I entered the expansive parking lot for the Magic Kingdom and left my car in the Simba section.  Trams were running, and riders waved as they passed, but I didn’t want to wait, electing to walk instead.  Bad idea.  I completely underestimated the size of this parking lot, and despite mild temperatures by Florida standards, I was drenched in sweat before I reached the TTC, or Ticketing & Transportation Center.

Now this is a uniquely charming quirk of the Magic Kingdom, and one I’ve heard referred to as a hassle by frequent visitors.  Due to the location of the park entrance across the lagoon from the parking lot, all guests must pass through the TTC.  From here, we have two options to get to the park: ferry boats, or the monorail.  Personally, I love that transportation rides are required to access the park.  It adds to the experience while also building anticipation.

As a professional mariner, I chose to ride the ferry on my way in, and no, these vessels do not ride on underwater rails.  They are free-floating boats operated by Disney cast members called pilots along with their deck crews.  Each end of the ferry has its own wheelhouse, diesel engine, propeller, and rudder enabling the vessel to operate back and forth across the lake without the need to turn around.  The pilot waved from the wheelhouse above as I climbed the stairs to the second deck of the Admiral Joe Fowler, and planted myself just outside the opposite helm station to nerd out and watch the crew in action.

I was surprised to see that they operate the engine at the front, or bow, of the vessel in reverse throughout the entire crossing.  I thought they would only rely on the engine and rudder at the stern for propulsion, potentially using the one at the forward end to thrust the bow and slow the boat prior to entering the dock at the end.  I’ve never operated a double-ended vessel before, and if anybody listening knows more about how these work, I’d love to learn about them.  Regardless, it was a lovely cruise across the Seven Seas Lagoon, and I disembarked just in front of the park entrance.

Time check?  11 am, and the vibe at the entrance is odd.  It’s quiet, almost deserted.  I’d guess there were 75 other guests on the ferry with me, and once we spread out across the Magic Kingdom’s expansive entry plaza, it felt like I had the place to myself.  I looked up at the railroad station, its impressive red brick colonial architecture, and the colorful flower gardens below.  I held my phone up to the orb, placed my finger on the ID pad, and once it dinged green, it was time for a trip down memory lane.

And by that I mean Main Street USA.  I walked upward, passing beneath the railroad trestle, and stopped awestruck.  While I’ve seen this before, I’ve never like SEEN it before.  Old timey white Victorian architecture extends down this bustling thoroughfare with countless storefronts, each one teeming with activity.  Tracks for horse-drawn trolleycars form lines drawing ever closer as the forced perspective draws the eye directly towards Cinderella’s Castle. It used to be white, but today it’s grey and blue with gold accents, and it fancifully draws me inward.

I walked the length of Main Street, taking in the sights before pausing in front of that majestic palace.  I paused, had my moment, then moved on.  While I was intent on taking my time at the Magic Kingdom, I still had a plan.  Coasters first!  I mean, I gotta get them credits, right?  Space Mountain had a 45 minute posted wait, and that was just about enough time before my Lightning Lane for TRON.  I turned right at the Castle court headed for Tomorrowland and my redemption ride on Space Mountain.               

The Magic Kingdom opened in 1971, following the success of Disneyland in Anaheim, California.  Walt Dinsey purchased an endless expanse of swampland in Central Florida intent on building a full-fledged destination resort celebrating his film characters and the American experience.  Like the west coast original, the park was designed with a hub-and-spoke layout, easing traffic flow between its themed lands: Main Street USA, Tomorrowland, Adventureland, Fantasyland, Liberty Square, and Frontierland.

As I crossed the bridge into Tomorrowland, the atmosphere was interesting, simultaneously modern and dated.  It’s like classic futuristic, a blend of art deco meets the Jetsons, of course because it was designed in the mid century.  White is the overwhelming color choice, the People Mover snakes above, and the Tomorrowland Speedway lies to the left.  But I know exactly where I’m going, the Denali of Disney, and it looms directly ahead.

Space Mountain opened in 1975 as the first roller coaster at Disney World, and the second tubular steel coaster in a Disney park following Matterhorn Bobsleds in California.  Designed by Arrow Development, the project was originally intended for Disneyland, but was shifted to Florida because there was more available land.  The idea was for guests to enter a space port and travel beyond Earth in a fully enclosed experience.  Simply put, it’s one of the most iconic roller coasters of all time with a total of five variants around the world.  

You walk down a long tunnel upon entering StarPort Seven-Five, your gateway to the galaxies.  It’s mostly dark with polished aluminum railings and windows looking out to the stars.  As you approach the station, it feels more like walking through a space ship as the tunnel transitions to a white hexagonal shape.  You could call it Star Wars-esque, and it definitely fits that vintage future feel.  

The main station area features a central control tower in white with the room illuminated in blue by strip lights on the ceiling.  I breezed into this area quickly, but there were still several sets of switchbacks to go before boarding.  Space Mountain features two independent roller coaster tracks, called Alpha and Omega.  They’re essentially mirror images of one and other.  Height?  90 feet.  Max speed 27 mph over 3,196 feet of track (though fun fact, Omega is ten feet shorter). Lightning Lane users are routed to Alpha while Omega handles the bulk of the stand-by line.  A grouper allows stand-by riders to fill gaps in Alpha’s queue shortly before boarding, and this is where I was routed.  Just a few more switchbacks to go.

As I approached the load platform, I was assigned the front row.  Awesome!  The tiny bobsled-style rocket ship docked in front of me and it was time to board.  Each train has two cars seating three riders each single file.  Only six riders per dispatch, but in true Disney fashion, the stations are in perpetual motion, as the ride is capable of operating up to 13 trains on each side.

I took my place in a comfy bolster and lowered the lap bar.  The attending cast member asks me to push up to self-check and the crew waved as we left the station.  Over the last few days, I’ve noticed waving is a thing here.  Both cast members and guests.  Everybody is just so happy to be here, and we’re sharing the fun with one another.  It’s great!  The rocket leaves the station and turns left into the launch tunnel.  Now this is a cool effect that I remember from when this ride scared the pants off me.  It’s intended to feel like a launch owing to pulsing blue lighting and audio, but it’s really just straight track.  Not bad, it still works.

Then you bank right and turn around to engage a good old fashioned lift hill to truly get things started, and I honestly didn’t even remember that this was here.  Clacking upward, we pass a rocket engine labeled X-1 and another control tower with a sign reading, cleared for take-off!  Space gadgets illuminated in green are to the left, as we climb into the abyss.  At the top, an orchestral soundtrack comes to life.

Then we’re flying through space, with stars whizzing by and planets overhead.  There are celestial sounds as we pass foreign objects, but it’s almost completely dark.  There’s no way to see the track ahead, so I’m not gonna pretend to describe the layout.  We may only be doing 20 something miles an hour, but it could be lightspeed for all I know.  The lights and the audio effects make the ride.  (Insert audio)  Pretty sure that was a helix there.  You finish by slowing through a red tunnel, presumably simulating the heat of re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere before exiting in the unload bay.

So Space Mountain is a vibe!  Spiraling through stars over 3,000 feet of track is joyous, and the ride experience fits the feel of the attraction: retro futuristic.  It’s not rough by any means, but it rides like an Arrow, and those jerky movements add to the charm.  I even got yeeted out of my seat with some wild ejector airtime entering a mid-course brake about halfway through.  It’s definitely the most thrilling 27 miles an hour I’ve ever felt, and that it’s still super relevant and enjoyable after 51 years of operation is a testament to Disney imagineering.  I got my redemption ride on Space Mountain and I absolutely loved it!

I departed Space Mountain, and with no time to waste, I headed to TRON Lightcycle/Run, the second Tomorrowland roller coaster located right next door.  My Lightning Lane window had just opened and I walked into the ride’s sprawling plaza.

I originally intended to visit the Magic Kingdom after EPCOT.  You know, work up from the smallest park to the biggest?  But my friend JJ advised me to be sure to ride TRON before Guardians of the Galaxy in order to build up to the best Disney coaster, so here we are.  The prevailing opinion of enthusiasts is that TRON is great, but it’s too short.  I’m walking up the entry path right now, and it’s time to find out.

TRON opened in 2023, two years behind schedule due to the pandemic.  It’s a clone of the 2016 attraction at Shanghai Disneyland, a Vekoma motorbike-style roller coaster featuring an LSM launch up to 59.3 mph, a height of 78 feet, and a track length of 3,169 feet.  While the stats aren’t particularly impressive, the appearance certainly is.  

White canopy domes extend above the ride’s high-flying outdoor sequence.  Where Space Mountain is acutely angled, TRON is elliptical with flowing curves complementing the coaster track.  While it’s just after noon time, lights on the underside of the pavilion glow red as  black motorbike trains rocket overhead.  An epic score plays in the background, and I can’t help but look up in amazement.  TRON is deliberately designed to be a spectacle for onlookers.  I’m already getting goosebumps and haven’t even reached the queue.

I scanned my phone at the orb just outside the building entrance.  It dinged green, and I proceeded forward.  You pass through a door marked for Team Blue.  The concept here is that we’re users being digitized into the Grid, a virtual reality realm where we’ll be competing in a life-or-death cycle race on a translucent track.

We enter a dark single-file hallway with vertical blue LED strips on each side.  This quickly leads into the upload chamber.  Doors slide open exposing a dark room with a screen in front where blue shaded hexagons shift as the upload begins.  Then the screen goes white before our arrival onto the grid.  In a phenomenal reveal, the screen becomes clear, and we’re looking directly down on the launch track as a lightcycle powers forward into the race.  I’m blinded by the lights as they pulse forward among the myriad prisms throughout.  We exit onto a mezzanine directly above the track, and I let fellow users pass while I paused for a few minutes to watch the ride in action and take video.  This vantage point is simply stunning.  If Space Mountain is retro future, TRON is distant future from present, and it’s so cool riding them back-to-back.  Check out the visuals on my Instagram reel.

From here, the Lightning Lane queue moves directly to the free lockers for items that can’t ride with you.  There is no metal detection on TRON, so you can bring pocket-sized items onboard if you choose.  This is merely meant for bags and such that can’t be kept at our feet like most Disney coasters.  The standby queue weaves through several switchbacks before this point, and more details are provided about the story, and it looks like this.

Walls feature posters from champion teams of the past, along with their slogans.  Team Yellow: Live to Race.  Team Red: Speed First.  Our team Blue: Winning is our destiny.  And finally, our opponent in today’s Lightcycle/Run, Team Orange: Battle to the End.  Yup, they’re known to play a little dirty so we’ve gotta be careful.  In order to win, we need to pass through eight energy gates before the other team.  As race time approaches, the programmed siren asks us a final question.

We exit the locker room into the massive station.  It’s all black with blue illumination rising up through glass-walled railings.  Lightcycles load from a double-sided platform on either side of the ramp we now descend.  It only takes a few minutes before we meet the grouper to be assigned a side. 

The Vekoma motorbikes speed into the station and they are nothing short of breathtaking.  The gates open.  I’m sharing the row with a young boy and I motion for him to go first.  He tells me to go around the back of the bike to the opposite side.  Clearly he’d ridden this before, but the Lightning Lane queue was so abbreviated that if this was explained I missed it.  I walked around the back of my lightcycle and sat down, waiting for something to happen.  Again, I must have missed something in the pre-show because I didn’t know I was supposed to pull back on the handlebars to activate the restraints.  I thought it would be like Pony Express at Knott’s Berry Farm, or Avatar: Flight of Passage at Animal Kingdom where the restraints are automatic.  A cast member finally gave me instructions, and I was locked in, leaning forward, gripping the handlebars ready to enter the upload conduit.  It’s an unusual riding position, but Vekoma did a great job making it comfortable as we glided out of the station.

We pull into that launch tunnel, and the lights flash red, white, and blue and we’re accelerating outta here in a punchy launch up to 59.  We blast into daylight, and we’re soaring above the pathways beneath that canopy as we bank right to reverse course.  As I glimpsed down, I remembered how cool it was looking up, so I instinctively reached my left hand out to wave at the onlookers below.  Waving is a Disney thing, right?  Many waved back, and my adrenaline was riding higher than Millennium Force at Cedar Point, a similar moment where that energy exchange in the final turnaround sets the tone for the ride to come.  

But TRON is just getting started.  We drop low and bank left before climbing upward into the depths of the grid.  There’s a brief pause as we slow through a mid-course brake before dropping down into the first energy gate.  We’re locked in fierce battle with Team Orange now as we twist through darkness.  After gate three we narrowly miss them in a clever effect where our train is shown in a mirror with our left side wheels illuminated orange.  We continue winding through the grid, dropping and turning before passing a screen depiction of Team Orange speeding ahead before we cross before them to reach the finish line winning the race.    

OK, I’m gonna use the same word again in my review because it’s the best way I can describe it.  TRON is a vibe.  I said that about Space Mountain too, but this…….this is something special.  The lights, the sounds, the launch, the trains, those huge turns over the promenade while waving to the people below.  It’s a showstopper.  It’s so much fun, and I didn’t even get into the indoor portion, probably because it’s the weakest part of the ride.  That’s not to say it’s bad.  It’s smooth, dynamic, twisty Vekoma in the dark……In the motorcycle position……passing great effects and completing the storyline.  I loved it, and I don’t think it’s too short.  Would I have liked another element or two?  Sure, but the aura of this attraction compensates in spades.  It’s my favorite coaster at Disney thus far, and it’s not even close.  A stellar blend of theming, storytelling, thrill, and aesthetics.

So, I will admit that as I record this, I have not seen any of the TRON movies, though I now want to.  That said, I had no idea that when I rode this roller coaster, it had a special overlay to promote the new TRON Ares movie.  The part about Master Control taking over and asking us to spread his code throughout the grid are not part of the standard experience, nor are the red lights during the launch or on the lightcycles.  While not key to the ride’s essential plot, it was cool to see something I likely won’t experience again.  

I departed Tomorrowland heading towards the back of the park into Fantasyland.  I was prioritizing roller coaster credits, and I had a third one I wanted to snag before stopping for lunch, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.  It’s planted dead center in Fantasyland with pathways completely surrounding its manmade rockwork.  Circumnavigating the attraction, I found several vantage points to observe the swinging mine carts in action as they weaved through the manmade terrain.  It’s a super unique concept.  Think Arrow suspended coasters but with the track below.  After taking in the landscape, I hopped into the outdoor queue, whose line extended onto the midway.  The wait was posted at 45 minutes, and Disney efficiency kept the line flowing throughout its immersive switchbacks.      

Seven Dwarfs Mine Train opened in 2014 amidst a major refurbishment of Fantasyland.  It occupies the plot formerly home to 20 Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, a simulated submarine ride that I remember fondly as a child.  This new roller coaster brought the Snow White characters back to the park after the closure of her Scary Adventures ride as part of this refresh.  Of course, it’s manufactured by Vekoma and features two lift hills, a max height of 41 feet, and a top speed of 34 mph over 2,001 feet of track.  

The outdoor portion of the queue consists of pathways crossing beneath a beautiful tree canopy.  Even in January, the shade was precious as direct Florida sunlight is known to turn unsuspecting tourists into sunburned lobsters if they’re not careful.  Railings built of wooden logs and rocks are spread throughout with lanterns dangling overhead.  We’re on our way towards the mine where the seven dwarfs harvest gemstones.  

As we draw closer to the mineshaft, we enter an enclosed area.  The structure is clearly built from massive trees, some with bark remaining, and something I’d noticed over the last few days became undeniably clear. 

Disney guests have passion!  Whether it’s Mickey or Minnie ears, custom-made group T-shirts proclaiming whatever XYZ Disney trip 2026, or another garment featuring some related IP, it’s pretty much everywhere in these parks.  As a coaster nerd, I typically wear a shirt from another park to be noticed as an enthusiast, but here, it’s all about solidarity.  A common love for the shared experience of timeless characters and world-class experiences.  That’s awesome!

The queue features some interactive touches.  You pass a trough filled with gemstones that glow when you touch them before entering the Vault.  This indoor area is air conditioned, and it’s marvelous.  Upon entering, there’s a note from Doc reading, “Give the barrel a great big spin.  You’ll be surprised, it’ll make you grin.”  I was fortunate to have a Disney regular in front of me as I passed this area, and she urged everybody around to spin the seven barrels at the same time.  Once each began rotating, a projection of one of the seven dwarfs glowed on the ceiling.  Once we got all of them going, Snow White herself appeared in the center.  Such a cool Easter egg, and only a few switchbacks remained before arriving on the load platform.

I was assigned somewhere in the middle, and watched as those swinging mine cars move aggressively into the station.  As I’ve said before in this series, Disney coaster trains advance so much quicker than anything else I’ve ever seen.  Seconds count to achieve maximum rider throughput, and it’s super impressive.  

I sat down in my gondola, and the dwarfs obviously built it by hand.  Wood siding and benches are roughly carved from full tree trunks, and the wrought iron metalwork holding it together was hammered into form.  It’s rustic, and fits the theme beautifully.  I sat down, and lowered the lap bar, self-checked it per cast member request, and we were out the door.  

You dip down and bank right amid gorgeous rockwork and green grass before reversing left into the first chain lift.  It’s a brief climb upward and you pass some kind of lifting mechanism on the right while the train begins to descend.  You dip down and zigzag mirroring man-made terrain with some mild swings along perfectly smooth Vekoma track before entering the mine and coming face-to-face with the dwarfs themselves.  The cavern glows with incandescent gemstones as Grumpy, Sleepy, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopy are hard at work.  Then, as the train approaches Doc, a bell rings, and the leader of the gang initiates their signature song as you engage the second lift hill.  

You exit the mine and drop below a bridge while banking right into an upward helix before crossing above the track, and dipping down through a series of S-bends that provide the best swinging moments on the ride, and here, you enter the final brakes.  As you wait to enter the unload station, the dwarfs’ hut is to the right, and Snow White is seen dancing with Dopy while the rest of the gang play music.  

Seven Dwarfs Mine Train is a charming little coaster in a beautiful setting surrounded by incredible rockwork.  It’s very short, but it’s two minutes of non-stop fun.  You get some cool swinging moments throughout the course, but it’s about as mild as coasters come.  I love the show scene in the mine, and left with Heigh Ho stuck in my head.

And with that, I’d successfully ridden all the coasters I planned to in the Magic Kingdom.  Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was closed for refurbishment, including a complete re-track and new trains.  As I release this episode, it’s only just re-opened.  I really wanted to get back on this one, but that’ll give me a reason to come back.  The only other credit in the park is Barnstormer, a Vekoma Junior Coaster in Fantasyland, and I don’t bother wasting time on rides that small.  There were so many other attractions I wanted to check out, but first, it was time to eat.

I scrolled through the app, looking at an incredible variety of food options.  While theme park burgers aren’t usually my jam, the Truffle French Onion burger from Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe caught my eye, so I reversed course back to Tomorrowland to give it a shot.  I entered the massive white eatery, and was serenaded by the animatronic Sonny Eclipse on piano.  I’d ordered my burger on the app before I began my walk here, and it was ready upon my arrival.  I picked up my Angus beef patty with braised beef caramelized onion confit, swiss cheese, parmesan, crispy onions, and black garlic truffle aioli served with fries.  It was awesome.  A great diversity of flavors, and while the burger patty itself was unremarkable, the accouterments made it special.  The burger and fries were $15, a solid value for this quality of food in a theme park.  The fountain soda was six bucks again, but it is what it is.  Fully satisfied, my next must-ride attraction was another mountain located in Frontierland, all the way in the back of the park.     

I relished the trek, and took the long way passing through the entirety of Fantasyland.  There’s so much to do here, and I definitely missed a lot on this day.  Peter Pan’s Flight, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Enchanted Tales with Belle, and the Journey of the Little Mermaid.  All of these are themed to my generation of Disney productions, and I’m sure I could spend the better part of a day experiencing all of them.  Again, another reason to come back.  

I could have ridden It’s a Small World.  The wait was about ten minutes, but the mere thought of it upon passing had that song stuck in my head.  I kept going.

I entered Liberty Square, an homage to post-colonial America.  It’s beautiful, with red brick and white columned architecture.  Work walls were raised on the right blocking the view of the old Tom Sawyer Island.  The area is being completely refurbished with theming to the Cars movies, and an all-new Disney Villains themed area.  This is a substantial project, and I can’t wait to see the new attractions in store for us.

I continued around the corner before finally arriving at Tianna’s Bayou Adventure, and marveled at the gorgeous golden peak flush with emerald greenery as boats splashed down in azure water.  This re-theming of the Splash Mountain log flume opened in 2024, and I never rode the original version themed to Song of the South.  That huge drop coming out of the mountain terrified me during my last visit and I chickened out, so everything about Tianna’s would be completely new.  I also rarely do water rides because I hate being wet in theme parks, but this is such an iconic attraction, I couldn’t leave the Magic Kingdom without riding it.  The wait was posted at 60 minutes and I stepped into N’Orleans to begin this adventure.    

The story here takes place after the events of the Princess and the Frog, another movie I haven’t seen, but there’s this woman Tianna who seems to be the veritable princess of the New Orleans, and she’s planning a Mardi Gras bash at her new food cooperative perched just above a salt mine.  

Outdoor switchbacks revolve around a courtyard with wooden fences following pathways leading to Tianna’s Foods.  Trumpets wail against the tap of symbols and a raucous piano as jazz and zydeco music is piped in from local radio station WWOZ, setting the vibe for the locale and the ride itself.

Eventually, we enter Tianna’s Foods, and we’re greeted with a sign.  Fifty foot plunge ahead!  Tianna’s Bayou Adventure is a turbulent flume adventure with high-speeds, heights, and sudden drops and stops.  You may get wet.  Crap.  I’m all good with the heights, drops, and stops.  It’s that last part I really want to avoid.  I’m hoping to fall firmly into that “may get wet” category, as in, hopefully not at all.   I entered the co-op and kept going.  We pass through Tianna’s pantry with dry ingredients, and here Tianna reveals that she’s looking for a band for tonight’s party.  

We exit the co-op and proceed upstairs into Tianna’s kitchen where fresh beignets are being prepared, and the jazz reaches a crescendo.  Then it’s time to proceed down into the salt mine to board our log. 

The station is outdoors, but it’s completely surrounded by towering walls of the salt dome, the blue sky visible directly above.  I boarded my log in the back row.  Each one seats eight riders in rows of two.  I lowered the lap bar before a swift dispatch in search of musicians for Tianna’s Mardi Gras celebration.

You enter a tunnel and turn around to the right beneath incredible rockwork before engaging the first chain lift.  The log releases and splashes gently into the murky waters of the bayou where you pass plants and trees and head upward again where we meet Tianna herself.  

The boat gently rocks through a winding river passing gardens growing produce.  Rocks tower above, greens garnish the landscape, and the scenery on this log flume simply can’t be beat.  It’s so colorful and calming, but then it’s time for the ride’s first big drop.

You plummet into a cave covered in flowers and the water slows you to a crawl.  We’re in the depths of the bayou now, and a multitude of creatures perform their auditions for Tianna’s party.  We pass Louis the alligator, and several musical acts including beavers, rabbits, opossum, otters, a black bear, turtles, and bobcats, each one receiving Tianna’s seal of approval.

Then you drop down into a dark tunnel.  Spanish Moss flows from the trees above, and we dip below the bayou surface to meet the frogs.  Louis and Tianna clearly love this act, and we begin the climb upward to our adventure’s climax, the 50 foot drop that blasts into daylight.  I got a spritz of water on my splashdown, and based on my experience, you only actually get wet in the front row.  

We take a moment to leisurely cruise through the bayou before finally arriving at Tianna’s party, and it’s a blast!  All the musicians we met during the ride are here to celebrate Mardi Gras in grand fashion, and it’s awesome! 

Before we the ride ends, we pass Mama Odie offering up fresh beignets, and alas we pull into the station to disembark.

So first and foremost, I didn’t get terribly wet, so that’s a major win, but I’d say Tianna’s is a win as well!  I’m gonna go back to “charming.”  The whole attraction is flush with bright colors, and you can’t help but love the characters, the music and the vibe.  I keep going back to that word too.  It’s a joyous excursion that’s beautifully executed.  Count me in as a fan.

I left Tianna’s and reversed course back towards Liberty Square.  My next ride would be Haunted Mansion.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t ride this as a child, and considering it was an opening day attraction at the Magic Kingdom in 1971, I wanted to check it out.  The wait was posted at 35 minutes with the queue spilling out into Liberty Square with work walls for the new expansion blocking the view of the lagoon to the left, but there’s still a great view of the Gothic brick manor to the right.              

After a few minutes of switchbacks, we entered the mansion’s foyer, and are transferred into an octagonal gallery where we meet the Ghost Host, a booming presence presiding over the ghostly estate.  The pre-show begins with the walls stretching and the ceiling getting further from the floor.

We exit the chamber deep in the bowels of the mansion.  Dark wood paneling covers the walls lit dimly from chandeliers above.  We’re quickly ushered aboard the ride’s omnimover system.  Each black vehicle is known as a doom buggy, seating two guests.  Riding solo, I had one to myself.  

Whereas each doom buggy closely follows the next, and they operate on a continuous loop through the ride, this attraction must have incredible capacity.  Despite opening in 1971 with the park, it’s an impressive feat of engineering.  

Throughout the tour of the Haunted Mansion, we pass several rooms.  Holographic projections are joined by animatronics during the experience.  It’s a fun, old school dark ride.  Not a show stopper, but on that note I have to say my experience stopped several times, presumably to accommodate guests needing assistance boarding.  There’s a cool sequence at the end with a mirror reflecting us riders with ghosts all around.  

So the Haunted Mansion was fun.  It was fine.  It’s a classic, so much respect.  I applaud the charm, and I love the vibe.  I’m glad I did it, but it’s not something I’d hop back in line for.  

I returned to the midway bound for Adventureland and my next must-do.  I loved Pirates of the Caribbean long before Johnny Depp created the legend of Captain Jack Sparrow.  Now he’s part of the ride experience, and I couldn’t wait to get back on this immersive indoor boat ride.  

Upon entering Adventureland, I was engulfed in Spanish architecture and the fort Castillo del Morro, inspired by Puerto Rico and years of Spanish dominance of the high seas.  The wait was a mere 25 minutes, and I stepped beneath the portico anticipating a swashbuckling adventure.

As I entered, brass chains are hooked to black stanchions with spherical knobs on top.  We quickly wound through the switchbacks with red clay floors and sprawling Mediterranean archways before entering the dregs of the fort.  We pass a bastion with a cannon and ammunition ready for action before continuing downward.

In the station, boats accommodating six rows of four guests glide onto the platform, and we’re hustled aboard.  We’re dispatched into a cave with stalactites glowing blue among surrounding waterfalls.  The boat meanders through a few turns, and we enter a cavern with skeletons of pirates washed upon a beach.  Swords protrude through their forms as the audio quietly chants, “Dead Men Tell No Tales.”

Then, a seagull squawks, and the wind begins to howl.  Everything goes dark, and we take a perilous plunge into Davey Jones’ Locker.  It’s a solid drop providing a hint of thrill on this classic boat ride.    

After a mild splash, we enter an expansive harbor at night with the Wicked Wench pirate ship in all her glory.  Cannons fire from the starboard side of the galleon, and we enter a village under siege, succumbing to the pirate’s wrath as they search for Jack Sparrow.  Upon leaving this scene, an animatronic Jack is seen hiding between women’s dresses while a scallywag plays a Pirate’s Life for Me. 

The boat continues along the tranquil river through the ransacked town.  These animatronics are incredible.  Super life-like with multiple degrees of movement.  Pirates drink rum and harass the townsfolk, insisting that Jack will never be able to find the treasure without a map and key, yet the wily swashbuckler is hiding in a barrel just behind him taking note.

In the next scene, the pirates have set the town ablaze while running about stealing treasure while a trio plays the ride’s theme song.  Then we pass a jail with imprisoned pirates trying to coax a key from a dog outside their cells.  

The ride concludes with Jack Sparrow himself sitting in the town vault, sipping rum from a goblet and reprising the theme song in victory.

As a fan of the Pirates franchise, this ride was an awesome refresh of a classic.  It’s got a fun little drop, and the scenery and animatronics are first class.  Five stars.

As I departed Pirates of the Caribbean, I’d almost completed a full lap around the Magic Kingdom.  I left Adventureland and returned to Main Street, en route to my next nostalgic experience.  I headed directly back to the park entrance intent on riding the Walt Disney World Railroad.  As I’ve noted in previous episodes, my first childhood mania was trains, and few captured my heart like this one during my prior visits.  It’s no secret that Walt himself shared this love, and I couldn’t visit the Magic Kingdom without taking a ride.          

The current version of the steam train is operating in shuttle mode between Main Street USA and the Fantasyland station due to the massive construction project occupying the back of the park.  This means that there’s only one trainset travelling forwards and backwards over roughly one third of the traditional circuit, and while that’s a bit of a bummer, I’m sure that Villains expansion will be worth the wait.

The Main Street station was deserted as I approached, and I waited several minutes for the train to return.  Leading the consist on this day was locomotive #1, the Walter E. Disney, a stunning crimson 4-6-0 ten-wheeler.  It’s a true showpiece, with brass accents shined to perfection.  In Disney fashion, the engineer and conductor wave to guests as they enter the station.  All Disney World locomotives burn low-sulfer diesel fuel, just like any regular truck or bus, but they’re still fully functional steam engines, using the same mechanical workings as they did when they were built in the 1920’s.

The platform was largely empty, and I climbed aboard one of the gorgeous red coaches with wooden benches varnished to a shine.  After a few minutes, it was time to start rolling.  Number one sounded three short blasts of the whistle indicating it was reversing, and we began to move.

So what is it about this conductor’s voice that you just can’t help but love?  It simply couldn’t be the Disney World Railroad without him.  

As we back towards Fantasyland, we’re joined by Stitch, who really wants to blow the whistle, and you can hear him scurry across the top of the train from the conductor’s position to the loco.  

If that’s not Disney wonder, I don’t know what is.  While it would have been nice to get the full experience, this little taste was enough this late in the day.  

I disembarked in Storybook Circus, and took a moment to video the Number One leaving on its return trip, and it’s already part of my Instagram reel for this episode.  

I made the brief walk to Tomorrowland for another recommendation from my friend Swizey from the Coaster Chronicles podcast.  He’s an uber Disney fan, and it was fun chatting back and forth over the course of this trip.  Next up, the Carousel of Progress.  I probably never would have noticed that it existed, much less rode it if not for his recommendation, so thank you Swizey!

This rotating theater is the only attraction on property that Walt Disney designed himself, as he passed away in 1966, five years before the resort opened.  It was built for the 1964 New York World’s Fair where it operated for just over a year and was moved to Disneyland for a six year stint before finding its current home in Florida.  It’s a 21-minute experience in air conditioned comfort, and was a wonderful reprieve after a long day on my feet.

The attraction celebrates the advancement of technology over four scenes beginning with the Turn of the Century.  John, the recurring patriarch of the American family sits in a wood rocking chair in his kitchen talking about advances like the automobile, and rumblings of the airplane and electric lights, and a song plays as the seats rotate into the next scene. 

A slightly older John sits in the 1920’s version of the same kitchen.  He’s now got electricity, Charles Lindberg is about to fly across the Atlantic, entertainment is available by radio, and his house now has indoor plumbing.  I can’t believe how good the animatronic John looks, as well as his dog Rover sitting at his feet.  The seats then bring us to the next scene.

Now we’re in the 1940’s.  And John’s kitchen has a refrigerator, a dishwasher, and a television, when it works.  He’s part of the rat race, commuting from his suburban home into the city for work.  His daughter is using some wacky exercise device while talking on the landline, and his wife is wallpapering an adjacent room.  That’s progress people.

The final scene is set in the 21st century with the family gathered for Christmas.  John’s son and his grandmother are playing a virtual reality game while John’s prepping to bake a turkey.  His wife tells him she’s programmed the oven to recognize his voice as she works on her computer.  John repeats the high score from the VR game, and the oven increases to 550 degrees amid discussions of other new tech like car phones, laser discs, and HDTV.  Grandma then hits 975 on the video game, resulting in the oven hitting that temp and burning the Christmas turkey.  

The Carousel of Progress is a charming automated theater production, and the final scene is even dated as of now.  I wonder what John will have to say about smart phones, social media, self-driving cars and AI.  Hopefully there’ll be a future refresh of the Carousel of Progress, but in the mean time……….

Night was beginning to fall as I left the Carousel of Progress.  Tomorrowland came alive with multicolored lights shining up over the white facades.  I pulled up the app to find that TRON was only a 35 minute wait.  Let’s GO!!  I really wanted another ride on this coaster, to round off my evening.

The canopy was aglow with white lights, and overhead hexagons change to red with every passing train. Again, this is part of that TRON Ares overlay I had no idea about, but it looks sick after sunset.

I stepped into the queue and breezed straight up to the lockers.  I didn’t need to secure anything since I had all my belongings in zipper pockets.  It was pretty much the same as having a Lightning Lane, and I couldn’t believe my luck.  I entered the main station, and got lucky again.  Front row on TRON baby!  I pulled on the handlebars and the back restraint lowered into place.  We rolled out. And on the launch, I put my hands out to the side like a boy rebelliously relinquishing control.  Just gliding.     

It was epic, and I was completely caught in the moment vibing out.  The launch was amazing with all those lights.  I did a Disney wave from the front left towards the folks below.  Some saw me and waved back.  The energy here is intoxicating, and my enthusiasm entered overdrive.  This ride is simply sublime.

We twisted through the indoor portion and re-entered the station, and in the preceding minute, I think I got my first true dose of Disney magic.  It wasn’t a character interaction, or a specially curated experience, just me.  On a thrill coaster. Delighted by the atmosphere and sharing a moment of euphoria with others who are just happy to be here.  That’s what theme parks are all about, and Disney does it like no other.  

Triumphant, I spent some time taking videos for Instagram before heading to the exit.  It was a monster day, and I still had one more.  I walked back down Main Street; the white shop facades popping with activity.  Upon exit, there was one more Disney experience I needed to cap off the day, and as a railfan, it was the monorail. 

I took the ferry over in the morning to nerd out as a boat guy, and it was only fitting to retire to the TTC via this very rare and uniquely Disney mode of transportation.  I bore right as I left the park and climbed up to the platform.  I waited only a few seconds before Monorail Coral whooshed onto the platform.  It’s crazy to me that the design of these trains date back to the Mark 4 model in 1969.  The current Mark 6’s glisten with a pristine white finish, and despite 37 years of service, they still look like transplants from the future.

I stepped aboard and we expressed along the single concrete trestle through the Contemporary Hotel.  The ride was smooth and quiet as I relaxed in my seat bound for the TTC.  It was an incredible day, filled with surprises, thrills, memories, and magic.  And while I felt I got a good refresh on the Magic Kingdom, I certainly missed a lot.  Gimme some time to digest and wait for the new additions to open and I guarantee I’ll be back, hoping for more Disney charm and delightful vibes.

I exited the monorail and there was no way I was walking back to the parking lot.  I waited the few minutes for a tram to carry my weary feet back to my car, and I returned to my hotel, ate some leftover Uno’s pizza, posted an Instagram reel of TRON, and passed out hard.

I still had one more day at Disney, and I’d yet to ride my most anticipated roller coaster of the trip: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind.  Now I’m leaving for my Europe trip in just a few days, and I fully hoped to have both this and the EPCOT episodes finished before now, but this one was such a monster to put together, the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow will have to wait until early June when I return.  If you haven’t listened to the previous Redux Rundown episode announcing my Europe trip with Coaster Breaks, I highly suggest checking it out, especially for an interview with Marcus and Gabby who make these small group theme park tours possible.

In the meantime, follow me on Instagram @coasterredux for real time updates on my Europe trip, and join me for the next episode from EPCOT when I return from my voyage abroad.  That’s next time on Coaster Redux.