Episode 43: EPCOT (Every Person Comes Out Tired)

EPCOT was the final stop on my four-day trip to the Walt Disney World Resort.  The Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow was originally intended to be a master-planned home for park employees but morphed into a massive theme park after Disney's death.  It currently stands as a sort of permanent Worlds Fair with multiple pavilions showcasing 11 different countries, and highlighting human achievement, technology, and innovation.

While home to thrill rides like Test Track and Mission: SPACE, EPCOT remains an edutainment experience with attractions meant to spark imagination and trigger inspiration.  It's also home to Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, my single most anticipated ride of the trip, and the world's longest indoor roller coaster.  

So join me on this journey around the world and to worlds beyond as I wrap up my Disney trip at EPCOT.

If you enjoyed this episode, please help me out by leaving a 5-star rating, a review, and tapping follow.  You can also comment on Spotify, and follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and X @coasterredux.

Transcript

So what is EPCOT?  Yeah, I know, it’s an acronym for the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. But what does that actually mean?  Well, it started as Walt Disney’s utopian planned community for park employees that eventually morphed into a massive theme park after his death.  Dedicated to highlighting human achievement, technology, world culture, and innovation, it’s more than double the size of the Magic Kingdom.  Half its mass comprises the World Showcase: a sort of permanent World’s Fair featuring immersive pavilions themed to eleven different countries.  Eating and drinking around the world is a popular pastime for Disney fans, but I’m here solo, and that sorta globetrotting is best left to friend groups and families, so I’m gonna focus on the rides.

EPCOT’s other half is divided into three sections, World Nature, World Celebration, and World Discovery, the latter truly calling my name.  It’s home to thrill rides like Test Track and Mission: SPACE, and the biggest draw is my single most-anticipated attraction of the trip: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, the world’s longest indoor roller coaster.

I’d been here as a child thirty some years ago, but don’t remember much.  Captain EO starring Michael Jackson is about all I can recall, and that’s long since been retired, so EPCOT will be pretty much brand new for me.  So what do you say, fellow traveler?  Care to explore the far corners of this world and beyond?                 

Welcome to Episode 43 of Coaster Redux.  My name is Erik, and this is the story of my revived roller coaster fandom. For years, I’d all but forgotten my coaster obsession from high school and college, but since the pandemic, I’ve been on a mission to ride as many new coasters as I can.  I know as a roller coaster fan that one of my favorite parts of the hobby is getting the reaction of somebody coming off a ride they’ve never ridden before.  That’s what I want to share with you. 

And with that, join me for a trip around the world and a journey to others, as I wrap up my Disney trip at EPCOT on Coaster Redux.

I hit the snooze button as my phone attempted to drag me out of my precious slumber.  I was so hyped after yesterday at the Magic Kingdom that I locked in on making my TRON reel for Instagram and stayed up later than intended.  No matter.  I have plenty of time on this day to explore EPCOT, and my Lightning Lane for Guardians isn’t until 12:15.  I lumbered out of bed towards the shower, cleaned up, and got on my way.

I drove across I-4 and entered Walt Disney World for the fourth and final time on this trip.  I passed Hollywood Studios before being directed to my spot in EPCOT’s Dory lot.  The monorail quietly whoosed above, its streamlined shape disappearing behind the towering silver of Spaceship Earth.  Call it what you will.  A celestial body, a geodesic sphere, a golfball.  Regardless, it’s an icon, and the renowned centerpiece of EPCOT.  

I left my car and headed towards the entrance, walking directly beneath the monorail.  The concrete pathways are red, reminiscent of Miami Beach, and flowers are planted in gardens surrounded by concrete terrazzo walls.  Ticket booths and entry gates are covered in curved white panels with blue accents.  It’s got that retro future look from Tomorrowland at the Magic Kingdom.  

I scanned in at the obligatory orb and entered the park. Spaceship Earth stood tall just ahead.  And while it’s a breathtaking sight, there’s just something missing in this entry plaza.  That Disney feel of warmth, magic, wonder, and whimsy I felt at the other three parks was conspicuously absent.  Animal Kingdom has lush greenery.  Hollywood Studios that vibrant boulevard, and Magic Kingdom the bustling Main Street.  EPCOT just felt bland, bleached, and cold.  A concrete jungle devoid of character, and dated by decades.

But this park isn’t quite like the others.  It’s not about fairytales, franchises, and fantasy, more so foresight, futurism, and fellowship.  Opened in 1982, the Imagineers at WED Enterprises took Walt’s experimental community concept and created the resort’s second gate.  While not a living and working city, they sought to honor Disney’s original EPCOT vision by representing the forefront of human technology and imagination, and celebrating international cultures.  The resulting theme park emerged as an edutainment experience, with the World Showcase combined with themed attractions meant to teach and inspire.

The Disney World Monorail was extended to the new park, as efficient modern transportation was a keystone feature of the prototype concept.  And the line still loops around the park’s center today before entering the station, providing riders a panorama of the park below.

Intrigued to see what EPCOT is really about, I headed left upon entering, bound for my first ride of the day, Test Track.  The wait was posted at 60 minutes, and I had just over an hour to spare before my Lightning Lane on Guardians.  I passed the entrance to Mission: SPACE, and this pavilion felt more futuristic with shimmering space-aged curves emulating orbits surrounding Mars and Saturn.  We’ll be back here later.

I walked towards the expansive rotunda that is Test Track’s entrance, and heard the thundering rush of test vehicles careening around a banked corner above.  It’s the fastest and longest ride on property with a top speed of 65 mph and 5,240 feet of track.  And while it’s not a roller coaster, it’s definitely got an element of thrill.

Test Track is sponsored by General Motors, and EPCOT has a history of cost sharing with corporations, as part of the original premise was exhibiting American industry.  It opened in 1999 on the site of World of Motion, an opening day omnimover attraction depicting the history of transportation.  It presents the process of modern vehicle development and testing.  Now on its third iteration which opened in June of 2025, this would be my first time on this ride, and I entered the standby queue.

Switchbacks wind through sprawling exhibitions of GM concept vehicles testing turbine, hydrogen fuel cell, and fully electric powertrains.  Sustainability and conservation are highlighted before climbing up to the load platform. It was cool to see as a car nut, but there’s no denying that this attraction is a giant billboard for GM.  Still, it’s nicely presented and entertaining.

I reached the station, and was assigned the back row left.  Ride vehicles are essentially life-sized slot cars, reminding me of Tyco toys I loved as a kid.  Naturally, my tracks did loops and climbed vertically up the wall, and while there’s nothing like that on Test Track, the concept made me smile.  Each vehicle seats six riders three across in two rows.  We’re secured in place with nothing more than a conventional seatbelt.  Power is delivered via conductors to a 250 hp electric motor which drives Goodyear rubber tires throughout the experience, and interestingly, there’s a roller coaster type rail system hidden below the track with both up stop and guide wheels keeping the test car on course.

I sat down, buckled my seatbelt, and headed out for testing and evaluation. A cast member instructed us to pull up on yellow loops on the seatbelt.  With another Disney self-check complete, we proceeded onward.  

We’re greeted by two voices.  We’re cruising through a dark tunnel, and lights illuminate showing us how a self-driving vehicle maps terrain and surroundings. We zig through twisting roadways, exploring electric charging, and customizable car bodies fitting a single platform.  Aerodynamic sports car?  Three row family hauler? Convertible roadster?  They all look great.  Seems like a no-brainer that shouldn’t be so far in the future.

We zag through forests, enjoying the open road, passing vistas of the American landscape before narrowly avoiding a truck coming straight at us.  

A final indoor scene shows flying vehicles lifting off amid a futuristic cityscape, but just ahead, we enter a tunnel and exit into the Florida sun, accelerating onto a present-day test track to see what this girl can do.

With the pedal to the metal, we bank right, slow, and begin turning around while gradually picking up speed.  Streetlights hang above with blue arrow markers guiding us through the turns as we reverse course.  

The road straightens and our test vehicle gives us all she’s got with an explosive acceleration to top speed.  An electronic billboard above reads 65 and we bank left, following the pavilion’s curve, eventually slowing into the ride’s ending.

So I really enjoyed Test Track.  It’s a thrilling immersive experience with some high-speed moments, and the onboard audio is spirited and fun.  I exited through the GM showroom with a couple of sales folks on hand.  I quickly passed the myriad of sweet vehicles on display thinking to myself, “maybe someday.”  Test Track is a solid ride, and I get the idea behind it, but the corporate marketing broke the magic as I emerged back onto the concrete midway.

I had about 15 minutes before my Lightning Lane window opened for Guardians of the Galaxy, so I took a few minutes to walk the front half of the park.  There’s a stunning golden dome that is no longer in use.  Apparently it was originally the Wonders of Life Pavilion, and featured educational experiences focused on health and wellness.  Closed in 2007, it’s been mostly dormant except for occasional use during the park’s signature Food & Wine Festivals, but it’s been shuddered since 2018.  

I walked the bridges around the lagoon by Test Track, finding another large, white washed vacant building just to its south.  Windows were shaded, and the empty facade felt uninspired, and distinctly un-Disney.

However, I endured these few minutes of disappointment rampant with anticipation.  I was minutes away from riding Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind.  Every Disney fan I’ve talked to has raved about this roller coaster, and I couldn’t wait to experience it for myself.

Taking almost five years to build, Guardians is among Disney’s most ambitious projects to date.  Construction began in August, 2018 with the ride finally opening on May 27, 2022.  The model is classified as a Vekoma family coaster, but it features controlled spinning cars, so you’re always looking at the desired theming effects through choreographed computer programming.  Most impressively, its track length is over a mile at 5,577 feet, and it’s completely enclosed which is no small feat, so let’s check it out.   

As the clock struck 12:15, I was already standing in front of that Nova Corps Starblaster, a full-scale gold and blue space ship on display just outside the ride entrance.  The standby queue time was 180 minutes, so this was well worth the price of a Lightning Lane.  21 dollars for a guaranteed ride, and I could plan my day around it.  I walked up to the final orb of the trip, scanned my phone, and it dinged green granting me entry to the Wonders of Xandar Pavilion, and this single revelation instantaneously drew me back into the immersion of the EPCOT concept.

Remember, we’re in a World’s Fair with various pavilions sharing countries, concepts, and creations.  In this one, Xandarians have traveled from their home planet to share their world with us.  It’s a brilliant integration of the ride’s IP with the park’s premise.  So without further adieu, let’s head inside.

The pavilion is grey with bright blue light strips, and a map of Xandar is projected onto an overhead dome.  It’s a planet similar to Earth located in the Andromeda galaxy with three suns.  World Mind, a super computer with a captivating female voice describes their capital planet, and their desire to learn about us Terrans, hence this very pavilion at EPCOT.  How appropriate that they chose a Disney theme park to study us.

We exit the Galaxarium and are directed into the Welcome Center where the pre-show begins, and we meet Nova Prime Irani Rael, leader of the Nova Corps portrayed by Glenn Close.

We then meet Centurion Tal Marik, who continues the safety brief.

We then step into the Teleportation Chamber.  It’s a circular room with flashing lights and electrical components lining the walls.  Intricate workings of the teleportation device are illuminated in red overhead.  Tal warns us that they’ve never transported Terrans before, but we’re molecularly similar to Xandarians, so we should be good.

We’re staring out a window looking way down at Earth.  The room is illuminated in red, and the Guardians of the Galaxy appear live on screen.  Tal informs them that the Cosmic Generator has been stolen, and the culprit soon shows himself just outside, a towering humanoid many times the size of the ship we stand on.  His intention?  Creating a jump point, bringing Earth with him, and traveling back to the Big Bang and eliminate the creation of Terra, stating that our species has failed, and is an error that needs correcting.

The Guardians leap into action as the jump point begins to close, and Rocket the Racoon programs our evacuation shuttles to follow into the abyss.  Apparently, we’re uniquely suited to follow the big man and guide the Guardians along this mission.

Doors open, and we’re hustled towards those evacuation shuttles.   

We enter a long corridor with red lights extending over 20 feet above.  We’re on a Xandarian starship preparing to evacuate, and the scale is wildly impressive.  Lights flash as we continue down the passageway.  Windows show brief glimpses of the departure dock below.  Fellow Terrans are evacuating in droves ahead of us.  Will there be enough shuttles?

Fortunately, this ride features a dual load platform and operates eight trains, each seating 20 Terrans with a theoretical capacity of a whopping 2,000 riders per hour.  The line moves quickly, and as I approached the grouper, I was assigned to row 1.  Front seat on Guardians, and I was overhyped as I climbed into the Star Jumper.  I pulled up on my lap bar completing a self-check with a cast member observing, before heading out on course.  I was on the right side load platform and watched other shuttles crossing ahead of me.  Hopefully it’s not too late to reach the jump point!

We rolled out and turned right, coasted through a straight track and engaged a lift hill, and we’re joined by the Guardians.

We top out and we’re in space.  Green beams of light shoot across the expanse with stars shimmering in the distance.  Then we turn right again and we’ve made it to the jump point.  We pass through the red and orange hexagon where we meet the massive man.  We’re deep within the jump point now.  Earth is just behind our antagonist.  Music is playing, and he asks……..WHAT IS THAT NOISE……….I think we’re jumping back.  

We’re jumping back alright. Our Star Jumper begins launching backwards through the jump point, and we’re accelerating up to 60 mph, and speaking of time travel, the onboard music also comes to life, and we’re patched in with comms to the Guardians.  One of six classic tracks plays randomly to accompany you on your voyage, and I got September from Earth, Wind, and Fire.

We exit into the expanse of space, and our vehicles aren’t quite sure what to do.  We reunite with the Guardians and lock onto the Big Man and the cosmic generator.  Millions of stars appear around us, and we follow the Benetar as they attempt to recapture the prize.  The battle action on screen and the banter between our heroes flow seamlessly as the cars are perfectly programmed to face the right direction.  Meanwhile, we twist gracefully through an endless maelstrom of Vekoma track.  

Halfway through, there is a brief second launch, but it’s not punchy and feels more like a hill.  Then more help arrives from the Nova Team, and the mission is accomplished.  With the generator secure, we circle the Moon as we make a return approach to Earth, take a victory lap around the home planet, and the team prepares to bring us home.  

We re-enter the Pavilion and exit back into EPCOT, and while I really enjoyed the ride, it didn’t blow me away.  Nevertheless, Cosmic Rewind is a masterful theme park attraction.  It uses a roller coaster as one part of a fully immersive experience.  I love how the story is completely self-aware and begins and ends in EPCOT versus so many others where you’re transported to another world.  Similar to VelociCoaster at Universal, that elegant simplicity enhances the realism.  The pre-show is also super fun, and I love the humorous quips from the characters.  

The coaster portion is great fun, super smooth, and it’s a technological marvel that a story is continuously told throughout the experience with massive crisp screens, phenomenal onboard audio, and excellent practical effects.  So with all that praise, why wasn’t I blown away?  

Because this is almost unanimously considered to be the best roller coaster at Disney, my expectations were riding super high, and in my opinion, it’s just not a great roller coaster.  Now that doesn’t mean it’s not a great ride, because it absolutely is.  So before you completely tear me apart, bear with me for a minute.  The backwards launch is the only memorable roller coaster moment, and while it’s fun, I’d much prefer TRON’s launch.  The remainder of Guardians is focused on being a dark ride with a story.  Lights, fights, time jumps, music, effects, it’s all here.  I just hoped for a more thrilling roller coaster. 

Plus, I’m not a Marvel guy.  I haven’t seen any of the Guardians movies, so I don’t really know the characters, though based on the ride, I can appreciate the concept and their chemistry.  I also only rode once, and I think there’s just so much going on that I don’t think anybody can truly appreciate everything after one ride.                           

With that said, TRON is my favorite Disney World coaster.  It’s just got such a vibe and a presence.  You get that wind in your face, a thrilling ride position, and a sensation of speed that Guardians lacks, even though it’s slightly faster.  But now that this Terran’s returned to Earth, it’s time to eat.  And where better to eat in Disney than EPCOT?  The World Showcase is known for the best bites on property, so I set out across the park in search of my next meal.  

I went right upon entering and Canada was the first country on display.  Flowers, landscaping and rockwork are all stunning as I walked past a towering chateau hotel.  The Showcase lagoon is to the left with each pavilion owning a piece of the waterfront.  Water Taxis ply the calm waters transporting guests between nations without passports.

I entered the United Kingdom and passed Yorkshire County Fish Shop, serving up beer battered fish and chips.  A solid option, but I wanted to keep exploring.  I took my time walking through France, Morocco, Japan, The American Experience, and Italy.  While I wasn’t about to drink around the world as a solo visitor, I grabbed a beer in Germany to at least sample a bit of the experience.  I continued through China, Norway, and Mexico simply taking in the sights, people watching, and enjoying the architecture, music, and scenery.  

It’s different from the rest of Disney.  The pace is slow.  Nobody appears to be rushing to their next Lightning Lane.  Each pavilion is wonderfully detailed and staffed by many natives of each country.  The idea is to soak up the atmosphere and relax, and that’s exactly what I did as I sipped my beer, and with the hustle of the last few days, it was a welcome respite.

Now, back to the original task at hand.  Lunch!  I grabbed a shady spot by the lagoon and pulled up the app to place an order.  Most of the restaurants in the Showcase are sit-down experiences, and while the menus looked enticing, I wasn’t going that route by myself.  China had some interesting options, but the lines looked lengthy.  My quick service options with online ordering were a bratwurst from Germany, fish and chips from England, or barbeque from the good old US of A. 

I went with the latter from the Regal Eagle Smokehouse, and ordered up a combo platter with Memphis dry-rubbed pork ribs, North Carolina chopped smoked pork butt, and smoked sausage served with cornbread and a choice of a side.  Mac and cheese please!  I reversed course to the center of the Showcase, and my order was ready minutes after my arrival.

I picked up my tray from the window, and again, I love the simplicity of this system.  Order in the app and pick up fresh food in minutes without waiting in line to pay.  I grabbed my utensils and condiments from the counter and began to walk towards an empty table.  Then it hit me, I needed napkins.  Like, lots of napkins for all this delicious ‘queue.  As I acted on this revelation, a group of cast members swooped into the momentarily empty station to wipe it down.  I waited respectfully to let them do their thing, and one noticed me standing there awkwardly as I didn’t want to get in their way.  He asked me what I needed, and I said, “napkins” and he grabbed me a healthy handful and placed them on my tray since both my hands were occupied holding it and a soft drink in place.  That’s the Disney difference.  I would have happily given them the few seconds to wipe the station, but that attention to detail and guest satisfaction truly sets Disney apart.  Thank you kind sir!

I sat down and enjoyed another high quality reasonably priced meal.  $18.49 for a colossal barbeque plate, and another fountain soda for $4.79.  Again, the meal price is a solid value for this quality of food.

I took a final lap around the World Showcase.  I totally get why this is so popular, and I’d happily come back with a group of thoosies to eat and drink around the world, especially as an evening activity after visiting another park.

I should mention that there are some attractions in this area, including Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure and Frozen Ever After, but time didn’t permit me to try these out on this day.  It was late afternoon and I still had more to experience.

I returned to World Discovery, bound for my next attraction, Mission: SPACE.  The wait was posted at 10 minutes as I approached, and the entrance to this ride is spectacular!  A curved dome glistens as the sun reflects off its metallic facade.  The ride sign is Earth with a space shuttle leaving orbit and blasting off towards faraway planets.  Jupiter and Mars are in the background, with Mars a brilliant copper red, and amid this area’s otherwise unremarkable appearance, this one’s a showstopper.

Two different versions of the experience are available.  The Orange Mars mission is more intense with the green Earth mission less so.  You already know which way I went.  I entered the corridor for the International Space Training Center.  It’s an impressive facility, and I passed a full-sized space ship cross section, a lunar rover, and mission control on my way to start training.  I didn’t know anything about this ride going in, but put it on my list because it’s marked as a thrill ride.

I approached the Team Dispatch area, and cast members in flight suits grouped us for our launch, and we entered the pre-show room.

We’re briefed on our ship, the X-2 Space Shuttle, and given a warning about the ride experience.  We’ll be enclosed in a confined space, experience spinning, G-forces, and turbulence.  The orientation concludes with another warning that flight training is intense, and giving guests the opportunity to opt out.

We exited into a circular corridor with numbers on the floor.  While preparing to board, we’re given further information about our mission.  We’ll be flying to Mars with a lift-off, a flight around the Moon for a gravitational slingshot towards the Red Planet estimated to take three months.  We’ll be put into hypersleep to make the trip feel instantaneous before the most critical phase of the mission, successfully landing at our base on Mars.  Each capsule accommodates four trainees, assuming roles as navigator, pilot, commander, and engineer.  Like Millennium Falcon at Hollywood Studios, each recruit has a specific role to play during the mission by pressing buttons at the appropriate times.  With all that explained, it was time to board.

The automatic doors open into an expansive circular chamber with huge arms on the ceiling.  Capsules surround the centerpoint, and we’re quickly directed onboard. 

I was originally grouped with a family of three, but their young son got cold feet at the last second, meaning I’d be embarking on this mission solo.  I climbed into the navigator position.  It’s a cramped sliver box with each of our control positions just ahead.  Loose items can be stored in a bin below the consoles, and I stashed my sunglasses.  It was odd being in this thing by myself, but I persevered.  I lowered the shoulder harness, and a cast member quickly asked if I was good.  I said yes, and he checked my restraint and closed the door.  

Then suddenly, the entire dashboard tilted forward placing the display screen squarely in my face.  It was interesting to say the least.  I sat in this strange enclosure for several seconds just waiting.  Then finally, the X-2 came to life.

Video on the screen pans up to vertical as we count down to lift off, and I’m looking straight up the launch tower towards the sky and beyond.  Then it happens.  G-forces out of nowhere.  What is this?  Smoke from the rockets rises up and we begin climbing.  Slowly at first, and then more aggressively, and I’m plastered hard into my seat.  This ride is intense, way more than anything I expected at Disney.  

The G’s come on harder as we climb through the clouds.  Despite a relatively low-resolution screen, it feels pretty real.  But how exactly are they accomplishing this?  It’s a wild sensation.  I can’t exactly say I love it, but it isn’t bad either.  We hit 2.5 G’s as the sky turns from blue to black and alas, we’re in space.  The G’s relent as we enter low Earth orbit and initiate a burn to pass the International Space Station en route to the Moon.  We reverse course in a lunar slingshot and get one last view of Earth before I was directed to activate hypersleep.  The screens blur and the pod goes dark.

We begin evasive maneuvers as the X-2 careens through the asteroid field.  We eventually clear the obstacles and begin our initial descent onto Mars.  We entered the atmosphere, and I was directed to extend the wings for gliding.  We’re barreling on the edge of control above the craggy surface, and we lose autopilot.  Manual control is initiated, and I’m now attempting to guide the X-2 in for a safe landing.  CAPCOM tells me how to manipulate the control stick, and I don’t think it does anything as we make an S-curve through a canyon before the landing strip appears just ahead.  We touch down about three quarters of the way down the runway.  We were way too high and way too fast.  We crash through a barrier and come to a stop on the edge of a crater, teetering on the edge of doom.

Well, I guess we did, but I think we’re gonna need a lot more training.  The console tilts back, harnesses unlock, the doors open, and we exit the training center.  I didn’t know what to think.  I was shocked by the intensity of the ride.  I definitely wasn’t expecting that.  The story, flight simulation, and realism were okay, but nothing to get fired up about.  Upon further research, Mission: SPACE opened in 2003, and the tech reflects that.  The intense forces are created using a centrifuge so our flight sims capable of pitching and rolling also rotate up to 35 mph to create the feeling of intense acceleration, and that part was super impressive.

Apparently Mission: SPACE has been somewhat problematic since opening day, with it being too intense for many guests, resulting in protein spills and nausea.  The Green Mission opened in 2017 following an extensive refurbishment to offer a tamer experience for those who wanted it.  While the rest of the park was quite busy, Mission: SPACE was a literal walk-on, so while I applaud the uniqueness and intensity of this ride, I think it’s a miss for the majority of Disney guests.

Next I returned to the entry plaza for a ride on Spaceship Earth.  An opening day attraction and the veritable icon of the park, it’s a dark ride housed completely within the geodesic sphere.  The wait was a mere 15 minutes, and I relished in the shade as I quickly queued through a few switchbacks beneath the golfball.

Spaceship Earth is another omnimover-style attraction, similar to the Haunted Mansion at the Magic Kingdom, but instead of Doom Buggies, we’re riding in a time machine today.  I boarded, and began the ascent into the geosphere.  Shortly after beginning the lift, the ride stopped for several minutes.  Announcements played repeatedly asking us to stay seated and that the ride would resume operation shortly.  It went on long enough that I began examining those evacuation stairs to the right.  

Eventually, we began moving again, and we’re directed to look at the screen in front of us to have our photos taken.  Then we head up into a planetarium style dome. 

We travel through several dark ride scenes depicting human history, as we are a mere blip, yet current stewards of our planetary spaceship.  Early humans learned to communicate via speech, and then team up and survive against much stronger animal adversaries.  We began painting and carving on cave walls to document history, but the problem was that future people would need to travel to those caves to receive the messages.

Then Egyptians create papyrus, Phoenicians develop a common alphabet that works with most languages, Greeks create mathematics, and the Romans build roads, becoming the first world wide web.  The scenes are well done, and classic Disney.  Animatronics with limited motions are placed in detailed sets as our narrator tells the story beneath an orchestral score.

With the fall of the Roman empire, and the burning of the library in Egypt, Jewish and Arabs had back-up copies of many books enabling history to be preserved.  The next critical innovation was the printing press, allowing information to be spread en masse, and we didn’t stop there.  Newspapers, telegraphs, telephones, radio, and cinema shrunk the world in ways we couldn’t imagine.  And then came the introduction of the computer, like the room sized ones, followed by the personal computer.  While that’s where this ride leaves us, it reminds me of the Carousel of Progress.  A showcase of human ingenuity that stops well short of where we currently stand.   

I guess they do this to make the steep incline more comfortable, and I think it’s also metaphoric that we’re always travelling upwards while moving forward in time.  And if I’ve picked up anything from my time at Disney, the notion of looking backward to go forward is a recurring theme.  On the ride down, we’re asked to use the screen in the time machine to answer some questions, and EPCOT AI then creates a video of each of our ideal futures.  I’d share mine, but my audio recording came out lousy.  

The cool thing is that they use the photo taken before the ride began and superimpose your head into the video.  That’s a cool extra level of fun.  The time machines gradually returned to the unload platform and I disembarked.

So Spaceship Earth tells a great story of human history, and it’s got an inspirational message for younger guests to carry onto tomorrow.  It’s a beloved attraction, I get that, but it’s also a bit outdated, and failed to fully captivate me.  I can fully appreciate the engineering required to put a dark ride of this scale into that sphere and respect its historic significance, but I found it unremarkable compared to other Disney attractions.

Next I headed across to World Celebration to ride Journey Into Imagination with Figment.  My friend Swizey wanted my opinion and asked me to compare it with a video of the original.  Apparently this ride is a bit of a joke among Disney fans.  Despite a 15 minute posted wait, this was another walk on.  

The journey begins in the Imagination Institute, a pair of glass pyramids missing their pointed tops with brightly colored orange and purple bases.  The colors inside are equally vivid.  On the way to the sensory labs, we pass a wall honoring past Inventor of the Year awards, including Wayne Szalinski for his shrinking gun.  Honey, I Shrunk the Kids was a childhood favorite of mine, and this attraction had a brief stint with a Honey, I Shrunk the Audience theme.  The current iteration has been here since 2002 when the shrunken version flopped.

We board a bright red tour tram for an inside look at the Imagination Institute during their open house.

After that introduction, we enter the sound lab, and Dr. Channing tests our hearing with a series of tones.  Much to his dismay, an animatronic Figment appears.

We then travel into the sight lab where Dr. Channing attempts to give us an eye test before Figment comes in, causes mayhem, and reprises the song.  Seems the good doctor is trying to make imagination scientific, and figment is annoyingly debunking his hypothesis. 

In the smell lab, Figment creates a skunk smell, and Channing is disgusted.  Then he takes over the tour sending us into his own glow in the dark upside down funhouse.  Here, the doc finally realizes that imagination is best when it’s set free.  In this moment, the lights go black and the screens of the lab disappear leaving behind a wacky world of Figment’s imagination.  It feels like a fever dream.  Channing sings a version of the song with his face emblazoned on the Moon while it tilts back and forth.  

So yeah, Figment is a bit cringy and moderately annoying, but he gets his point across.  I later watched a video of the original ride, and it was 1000 percent better, and worth checking out if you’ve ridden the current version.  Still, it’s quirky Disney fun.  Certainly not an e-ticket, but worth getting that song stuck in your head if it’s a walk on.

Next I headed north entering World Nature to ride Living with the Land.  I stepped into the Land Pavilion, and it too felt a bit dog-eared.  Red brick tiles on the floors felt like an 80’s shopping mall, and the ceiling tiles reminded me of my old high school classrooms.  Hot air balloons are suspended from the center of the vaulted indoor dome.  The air conditioning is lovely, but this seems oddly dank and uninspiring in the grand scheme of Disney.

I stepped into the queue for Living with the Land, and was onboard this boat ride in just a few minutes.  It’s a relaxing and peaceful trip exploring the relationship between nature and humans as rain water falls from above creating the possibility of growing crops to feed us all.  It was more edutainment.  It’s fine, just not my theme park cup of tea.  

As the sun began to set, I had a couple of options.  The Soarin’ flight simulator was right there, but it was a 45 minute wait.  I’d love to have ridden Guardians again, but it was over two hours wait time all day.  Like Chris Pratt said, EPCOT stands for Every Person Comes Out Tired, and that was me.  It wasn’t just this park, but four days in the Walt Disney World Resort had completely caught up with me.  I headed for the exit, passing beneath Spaceship Earth and the Monorail station as I walked to my car and returned to my hotel.

Time to break down my thoughts on EPCOT.  For those who love it, I get it.  The World Showcase is magnificent, transporting visitors around the world with Disney’s touch.  It’s definitely the strongest part of the park, and I’d love to come back and eat and drink around the world with a group.  And the rest of the park is fun as well.  Test Track and Guardians are a solid one-two punch for thrillseekers with Mission: SPACE being a pleasant surprise for its intensity.  Still, with all that said, I think EPCOT is the weakest of the four parks at Disney World.  With the fantastic wistfulness of the other parks, this one just lacked the wow factor.  I never got butterflies in my stomach like the others.  There’s no warm hug or emotional pull.  I still had fun, but when it comes to Disney parks, the other three are leaps and bounds above.

And finally, let’s talk about Disney World as a whole.  Remember, this has been my first visit to the resort since childhood, and as an adult thrillseeker, I procrastinated my return for three major reasons: high prices, a perceived need to pre-book every attraction on the app in order to avoid long lines, and a lack of attractions that were truly thrilling, or that I would enjoy.

Well, after this trip I can confidently say that zero of those three concerns were real.  I paid $380 for one day in each of the four parks without a park hopper option, or $95 per day and $35 to park each day.  Uber would have been about the same price, so I opted for the convenience of having my vehicle on site.  Look up pricing for Universal, Dollywood, and even Busch Gardens, and you’re in the same ballpark.  Food was also reasonable for a theme park and the quality was best-in-class.  Every one of my lunches were priced under $20 for the food, and while $4.79 was expensive for a soft drink, it’s a negligible difference from other theme parks.  I only paid for a few skip-the-line passes for my most anticipated rides.  I paid $21 each for TRON and Guardians.  A single shot for Maverick at Cedar Point was $14 last year, so again, not terrible.  I also did a combo package at Hollywood Studios for $24 for Rockin’ Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror.  Five nights a nearby Marriott Fairfield was $722.  Total price for the whole experience excluding dinners and gas?  $1,394.34.  

I rode everything I wanted to.  I only paid for a few Lightning Lanes to guarantee a fluid and successful day, at a rate comparable to a Six Flags or United Park.  I actually like the Lightning Lane system versus the Six Flags Fast Lane.  You can pay for as much or as little as you want, and you can only use it once per day on any given attraction.  Compare this with a park like Cedar Point where people buy the Fast Lane Plus for $150 or more on top of park admission.  Not only is that a super expensive upgrade, but it’s valid for unlimited rides, making stand-by lines crawl. I didn’t bother with the virtual queue drama after my second day, and it wasn’t needed.  I was able to explore the four Disney parks at my own pace, and enjoy my time.  

While many of the rides are more family-friendly than I typically enjoy, every one came with a complete story, and I loved the likes of TRON, Guardians of the Galaxy, Space Mountain, Rockin’ Roller Coaster, and Expedition Everest.  Then there were the surprises.  AVATAR: Flight of Passage, Rise of the Resistance, Tower of Terror, Mission: SPACE, and even Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway.  

Now that I’ve done Disney and fully understand the product and the process, I’ll definitely be back, especially with some of the exciting expansion that’s on the horizon.  Villains Land at Magic Kingdom, the Monsters, Inc. door coaster at Hollywood Studios, and the Tropical Americas land at Animal Kingdom promise some exciting new attractions, and with these parks in my backyard, I can’t wait to make the jaunt back north to see what’s new.

So that’ll do it for the Disney series.  These have been super fun episodes to put together because there’s just so much in-park audio to work with, and I appreciate your patience as it takes more time to put each one together, and as much as I enjoyed the Disney experience, it’s time to get back to what I truly love: high thrill roller coasters.

As most of you know, I just got back from Europe, and it was truly the trip of a lifetime.  I visited eight incredible theme parks, and ticked off so many bucket list attractions accompanied by the best group of people on my Coaster Breaks tour and I’m beyond excited to start talking about it.

So join me for the next episode for my trip across the Pond to London where I did a solo visit to Thorpe Park before meeting up with my tour group to travel through Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands.  My first-time reactions to Stealth, Swarm, Hyperia and more are coming very soon to Coaster Redux.